Cruising Down The Highway

I don't want you
To come round here no more
I beg you for mercy
You don't know how strong
My weakness is
Or how much it hurts me
Cause when you said its over with him
I want to believe it's true
So I let you in knowing tomorrow
I'm gonna wake up missing you
Wake up missing you

When the one you love's
In love with someone else
Don't you know it's torture
I mean it's a living hell
No matter how I try to convince myself
This time I won't lose control
One look in your blue eyes
And suddenly my heart can't tell you no

I don't want you
To call me up no more
Saying you need me
You're crazy if you think
Just half your love
Could ever please me
Still I want to hold you, touch you
When you look at me that way
There's only one solution I know
You gotta stay away from me
Stay away from me

When the one you love's
In love with someone else
Don't you know it's torture
I mean it's a living hell
No matter how I try to convince myself
This time I won't lose control
One look in your sad eyes
And suddenly my heart can't tell you no
My Heart can't tell you no

I don't want you
To come round here no more
I beg you for mercy
You don't know how strong
My weakness is
Or how much it hurts me
Cause when you say it's over with him
I want to believe it's true
So I let you in knowing tomorrow
I'm gonna wake up missing you
Wake up missing you

When the one you love's
In love with someone else
Don't you know it's torture
I mean it's a living hell, a living hell
When the one you love's
In love with someone else
Don't you know it's torture
I mean it's a living hell, a living hell

That about sums things up for me right now. After last night.. yep. Sums it up pretty well. I'm a pretty big pit of Depressed right now. I... he's got everything. Everything of mine that I valued above everything. The things I kept the closest. I have given every one. And I have nothing left :( I'm empty. I have given.. and.. got nothing back. I don't know why I kept on giving.. except that I love him that much... stupid stuff is easy to do when you're in that position I guess.

I'd've never done it for anyone else. Not a bit of it. Oh you Lied to me? Buh Byes. Open to you in the deepest of ways? I so don't be thinkin so.

Nope. not with this one. With this one I just end up completely shattered.

I kept going forward despite all the glaring similarities to the Old person.. to someone who supposedly didn't exist anymore.. I was upfront and honest about what the situation itself did to me, and how it Wasn't going to get better as long as things continued and didn't change. Everything has gone how I thought it would, with nothing getting done, annnd now it gets turned around to be my fault because the crazy that I said was going to get worse, GOT WORSE, and got scary. And that doesn't justify the crazy, but.. dude.. I'm only human.. and.. I try. But there are some things... that just can't be asked of me, and really Shouldn't be asked of me. Or anyone. This isn't a set-up for getting to know someone, this is a set-up for driving another person insane, and then yeah, Surprise, you're not going to be SEEING the real person. You're seeing the reaction to things.

I'm very disappointed and heartbroken. I make sacrafices, HUGE sacrafices, but the returned message is that I'm not worth the same effort in return :(

I really wish.. that there was someone out there who thought I was worth it. Whatever the hardship/difficulty, I'm worth that much to be with, without my having to empty myself first.

I have an appointment with the psych nurse now. That arrived in the mail today. Dropped off my stuff for income tax, just waiting for thier call. Hoping it's not going to cost too much :( Hoping I remembered all the papers.

Xander wants a Tigger movie, and I need to stop crying before 3. So I'm going to end here.

~Sara